Cy Creek – America’s new Area 51
An investigative report
Conspiracy #1 – The Lego gym: Does it really exist??
Alright, I have three words for you – “holographic light fields.”
It may sound crazy, but rumors exist that the fabled “Lego Gym” in which few have ever set foot, in fact, does not exist.
Rather, the original architects of the school designed high-tech projectors that create the illusion to a viewer that they are standing in a gym, when in reality they stand in an open field outside of the school.
The purpose of this complicated ruse remains uncertain. Many believe that the fake gym was once used to conceal local military technology experimentation.
Many faculty members and students swear that the Lego Gym is 100 percent real, but in the face of such compelling evidence, how could anyone believe such a heinous lie? Could it be that they belong to the same secretive military organizations that created the gym in the first place?
We may never know the truth, but we can always stay wary, fellow theorists …
Conspiracy #2 – The Music Halls: Innocent classrooms, or secret cult meeting grounds??
One of the hardest areas in the school to infiltrate has proven to be the music halls found directly off the small commons.
Recently the school decreed that these halls would only be accessible to students in music classes, and they will refuse access to anyone else.
The reason for this remains a topic of debate – fear of damage to instruments? Fear of theft of instruments? Well, my theory makes way more sense than those garbage excuses.
You see, I have reason to believe that band, choir and orchestra have formed a cult, and they do not want any outsiders disrupting their sacred ceremonial space.
When I approached students who partake in these electives, I was met with a wide variety of confusion, anger and denial.
They think they’re real smart, but I’m onto them. Just you wait and see.
Conspiracy #3 – The APs: Humans, or Government-hired Lizard People??
We all know the many faces of Cy Creek’s hardworking and dedicated APs.
But we do not realize that they are not even human beings at all.
That’s right. As most government employees are, most of the APs at Creek are secretly members of a strange race of lizardmen. This means that under their human disguises, they hide green scaly skin and long, pink, forked tongues.
While no one has ever actually seen an AP without their human disguise on, there still exists tons of proof backing up this claim.
For example, I think I saw an AP wear a green outfit once.
Absolute madness.
Conspiracy #4 – Cy Creek Theater: A simple theater department, or the Phantom of the Opera??
I know what you’re thinking, “A ghost in a theater? Wow isn’t that just convenient!” I know the whole mysterious masked ghost musical thing made that popular, but I’m serious man.
There is a ghost that haunts the Cy Creek auditorium, harassing any poor soul that happens to cross its path.
While no photographic, physical or verbal records of this ghost exist, many swear that it’s the real deal.
I don’t know about y’all, but I’m pretty convinced.
Conspiracy #5 – Cy-Fair Rivalry: Sportball or MURDER??
Everyone knows about our long standing rivalry with Cy Fair, but has anyone ever stopped to think about why it began in the first place?
An obvious answer would be football. Sports = The easiest way to make two groups of people hate each other for fun.
However, there is another reason.
There was… DUN DUN DUN!! A MURDER!!!
That’s right! It was many, many years ago. I’m not really sure how many years exactly, but I know it happened for a fact.
Okay, so all we know, is that somebody from Cy-Fair murdered a Cy Creek guy. Or maybe a Creek guy murdered a Fair guy. It was a long time ago.
And yeah. Boom. A rivalry.
But! The school district doesn’t want us to know about that. So they try to hide the truth behind “football competitivity” or whatever.
But the truth will arise … sooner or later …
Conspiracy #6 – Rashad Godbolt: Human or Extraterrestrial Being??
The man, the myth, the legend. Rashad Godbolt. Or should I say, the alien walking among us.
This conspiracy has been met with a lot of question and doubt, but when you examine the evidence, the truth becomes undeniable.
Rashad is a spaceman.
If you examine the image below, you may notice an odd detail, look closely, it’s hard to catch …
Did you see it? Bam! Right there! If you zoom in, there is clearly a UFO in the background.
And! To make it even more obvious, if you zoom in even further … Look at that! An Antenna! Right there on his head. Now, how do you explain this anomaly?
You can’t, because he is not of this world.
How did Godbolt get to our planet? What is his motivation in infiltrating our mostly earthling filled school? What is the next step in his plans?
My dear theorists, remain diligent. This might just be the beginning stages of a full out alien invasion.
In conclusion, I’m not sure if this report will ever see the light of day. I would not be surprised if the board shuts this whole operation down.
For them, the truth is too dangerous.
But, if you are reading this, know that I will never stop fighting for honesty.
My fellow theorists, stay sharp and stay inquisitive.
Cypress Creek High School is not what it seems.
Lydia Estepp is a senior and is the Copy/Design editor of the Cougar connection. She loves drawing, baking, collecting stickers and reading comics. She...